Jacaranda Tree Montessori

A Montessori playgroup in Amsterdam for babies, toddlers, preschoolers

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All the latest news including why I’m reading about introversion

How are you? Wow. It’s really Autumn now in Amsterdam. The clocks have changed and herfstvakantie has already been and gone!

You won’t believe where we went. Normally in the herfstvakantie, we like snuggling up at home with lots of pyjama days and a few low-key outings with friends. So imagine my surprise when my parents announced that they would like to send the kids and I to Africa for a 5-day safari to celebrate my approaching 40th birthday later this year. A-f-r-i-c-a!

Have you been to Africa? What an amazing place. There is such an energy to the place: inspiring, calming and breathtaking. And now, it’s quite surreal to be back cycling through Amsterdam to classes as usual. I’m carrying around all the positive vibes I received from my trip and bringing them to the children in class :).

africa

 

In this post I’d like to share with you a book I just finished and some guest blog posts that I wrote. Hope you enjoy them.

Book review
“Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking”, by Susan Cain

 

quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking review

 

 

This book had been on my radar since I heard a radio interview with Susan Cain about a year ago. And after receiving a copy at Christmas I’ve been picking it up here and there when time allowed.

The book opens with an analysis of why you are expected to be extroverted in today’s society. There is such a strong bias in this direction. Characteristics such as assertiveness, charisma, gregariousness and social dominance almost reflect a superior type of person.

Maybe it’s not you that has introverted tendencies, but your child. People want your child to be confident and chatty. And if they are not, they receive the label “shy”.

So it was such a revelation to read this book and think “a-ha, it’s because I’m (or my child is) an introvert!”.

I recognise myself a lot in this book. How I need quite a lot of alone time to decompress from busy social events, why at social events I’d rather just chat to one or two people than “circulate”, and why I love working with parents and children and also enjoy the quiet time in between classes to get ready for the next group.

The book looks at the biology behind introversion and extroversion, and how your environment affects who we become.

And I like the chapter on introverted kids and how schools should start to recognise that group participation and open-plan classrooms don’t work for every kid.

I talked about the book with my kids. And last weekend when I asked my 12-year old daughter if she wanted to do something together, she replied, “No thanks mum. I think I’ll have some introverted time to myself”. So cool that she is becoming so self aware at her age.

I must admit that I didn’t find it the easiest book to read and introversion/extroversion is just one personality trait that makes up who we are. But I would definitely suggest starting with her TED talk and plunge deeper into the book when time allows.

Guest blog posts

A tour of a toddler classroom in Amsterdam

Montessori-Toddler-Classroom-Tour-in-Amsterdam

Recognise this classroom? Yes, it’s Jacaranda Tree Montessori!

We are featured in a guest blog post over at Trillium Montessori with a tour of our classroom. Check it out here: http://trilliummontessori.org/montessori-toddler-classroom-amsterdam/

Some of my favourite Usborne books

There are some lovely Usborne books for young children and I was asked to pick my favourites for Buy English Books. Click here to see the results!

usborne

News from the Classroom

Next week is the last week of this course. So I am busy working my way down the waitlist to fill the last spaces for the new classes which start from 10 November.

Crafting fun

toddler crafts for halloween

 

A great idea from one of the mums! We had a great time making bats in class this week getting ready for Halloween.

Upcoming workshops

First aid workshop for parents in English
This Saturday 9:30am – 3:30pm (now full)

Introduction to Montessori
Thursday 13 November, 8pm – 9:30pm
A free introduction to the Montessori approach including:
1. How Montessori works
2. A tour of our classroom
3. Demonstrations of how to work with the Montessori materials
4. Montessori primary schools in Amsterdam
5. Some quick tips for setting up your home
If you would like to join us, you can reply to this email.

I hope you all have a fun Halloween. And we’ll be getting ready for Sint Maarten from next week :).

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Book review: “Unconditional Parenting” by Alfie Kohn

Book Review: “Unconditional Parenting” by Alfie Kohn

I often recommended to parents an article by Alfie Kohn called “5 Reasons to Stop Saying Good Boy/Good Girl”. And I’ve been told many times that parents have found his book “Unconditional Parenting” the most useful parenting book they had read.

So I was excited to hear him speak last November when he visited Amsterdam and I signed up for both talks – one about testing in schools and the other for parents. I bought his book “Unconditional Parenting” on the night and finally had time to read it.

So it is about time I pass on what I have learned from Alfie Kohn.

 

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

1. Working with (instead of doing to)

The biggest message I have taken away from Alfie Kohn’s book is his emphasis to shift towards “working with” our kids as opposed to “doing to”.

“Doing to” strategies are things like threatening, bribing and rewarding our kids as ways to control our children. Instead some “working with” strategies he suggests are:

  • Reconsider your requests – for example, instead of asking “how do I get my child to eat?” instead look at your assumptions, look at what your child needs, and place your focus on offering nutritious food instead.
  • Move to unconditionality – I think we all love our children no matter what they have done; however, we don’t always act this way. Moving toward unconditionality means acting in a way where your child knows you love them for WHO they are, no matter WHAT they do.
  • Talk less, ask more
  • Assume the best from your child – we don’t always see what has happened and know what has gone on. Instead of assuming the worst, you can also assume the best!
  • Give age-appropriate choices

2. Use of praise, rewards and punishment

Alfie Kohn believes that praise, rewards and punishments are all ways of controlling our children. These provide extrinsic motivation to behave in the way we want. But he says this is the wrong type of motivation – better for it to come from the child themselves.

For example, instead of putting a child into time out if he has hit another child, you can get the child to work out what to do to make amends. “I think she feels so bad she is crying. What can you do to make her feel better?” By ending with a question, you give your child a chance to come up with something (even a pre-verbal child!).

3. Use of testing in schools

Alfie Kohn is also very critical of the schools in the US (and many other countries) where there is a lot of focus on test scores. He would like to see school implement interactive, interdisciplinary, and question-based learning to get a deep understanding as opposed to just learning facts. Sounds like a Montessori education would meet many of these requirements.

Hopefully I’ve inspired you to hear more from Alfie Kohn. You can find some of his talks on Youtube. Or you can read his book “Unconditional Parenting” and let us know what you think! If you have already read the book, join the discussion over on our Facebook page.